hello from limbo

i dont even know what feeling i have inside. im in the lowest......................point, im in ...limbo?! lol. the stupid thing's i dont EVEN know why am i like this. maybe because im just a week away from ....... 19. hu hu hu. i just cant hold my tears whenever i heard sad songs(this's weird), i even cried to the-used-to-be-funny background music in a drama, jinki'll totally hug me tight when he find this out lol what. and what made this end of january even worse:

first is, i just cant stand watching those 5 in wide screen, i just cant help but imagine how daebak SW is, i just cant help at wanting to meet them more and more it's frustating (ghgggggggg)
second is, the new opportunity i thought it'll be good, turned out..............100% different from what i imagined before.
third is, my old best pal deleted me from bbm. JDERR. what did i do wrong? in fact that i rarely talk to this pal through bbm, i swear i never do anything annoying to this pal in bbm. rudest truth i've never imagined: people you know is become people you knew.
the oddest fact: this saddy duddy feeling distracts me from being over jealous at LUNYU. haha. i accept them now. chukka chukka.